Like, the sort where you and your partner(s?) are just completely connected and in the moment? Where your attention is so focused on each other that you notice every detail. Each sigh. Each shiver. Where your hands and lips and body move just exactly to the right place in time with your lover's response?
I think that's how we're supposed to be with the world.
Like, I think God (Spirit, universe, divinity, all, whatever) is just so in love with us and all God wants in return for that love is for us to pay attention. To respond in time with each moment we're given.
I think that's why the advice to "be in the moment" is so powerful. Because that's how you have great sex. By paying attention and responding, moment by moment by moment.
Of course, sometimes life gives us hard things. So does sex, you know. And no, I don't just mean THAT hard thing. There's sweat and physical labor involved. I mean, if you think about sex logically, it's really just kind of a mess. Weird body positions, friction, smelly fluids. Not to mention a little risky and sometimes you're sore afterward.
It's not the physical actions and literal reality that make sex pleasurable. It's our attitude and attention that does.
In the same way, almost anything in life can yield pleasure when we give it that kind of attention, focus, and response.
And I think that's sort of the point. Like, I don't think God called us to our current paths in order to fix the whole world. If that's why God got us here, it was rather poor planning to put us in these little pitifully weak bodies and equip us with zero power to control anything but ourselves.
So it has to be something else, and I think that something else is for us simply to love what's right in front of us. Love ourselves. Love our families. Love our trees and pets and plants and the light coming in through the bedroom window and speckling the coverlet with dancing shadows. To love them so hard and true and thoroughly and with such focus and attention that we cannot help but be enraptured.
Of course, if it were simple it wouldn't be a challenge. So we get here with all this baggage that gets in the way. These little monkey brains that think they ought to be in charge and then gum everything up by worrying constantly about the future and the past. All the trauma of our childhoods and our ancestries, all the disconnection of the cultures we're born into, all the slings and arrows that mortal flesh is heir to.
So part of our job is to look at that baggage and then, importantly, put it down so we can get to the real work. The work of love.
And that's not to say we aren't supposed to also try to form the world to our desires. Great sex isn't (usually?) purely passive. It involves a certain amount of gentle (or not so gentle... depending on your tastes) guidance. Asking for what you want. Expecting to receive it. Working to receive it. Matching yourself to partner(s) who can give you what is right for you.
And thus, also, life.
And thus, also, such a life isn't purely selfish. The best sex almost always involves giving as well as receiving. It feels better that way, doesn't it?
Of course, like any small attempt to grasp and communicate the nature of the universe, this is an incomplete view. Yet I think it captures something essential. Something critical. Something useful for getting us closer to our purpose.
At least, putting it into practice is bound to make us happier. And more in love with the world and each other.
And that seems like a worthwhile thing, to me.
Fen Druadìn (they/them) is anamchara, storyteller, dragon, student of trees, and a breaker of generational curses.
Fen's mission here is to love and remember themself completely, connect deeply with the world, and help others do the same for themselves.
Fen connects deeply with the universe through their relationship with a sacred land in the Appalachians of North Carolina, and shares messages here and elsewhere. When not in the woods, they can be found on Facebook and Patreon.
If you feel led and are able, you can support Fen's work in any of these ways:
You can also contribute to the work of reconnecting with yourself and the world in any or all of these ways:
Stand in front of a mirror, look in your eyes, and say, "I love you." Repeat daily for as long as it takes
Send your love to the trees and stones and water and Earth
Spend time in quiet meditation with a plant or stone person, and listen for messages
Clean up litter in your neighborhood and/or engage in other acts of environmental restoration
Build a personal relationship with the plants and animals in your area by spending time with them and listening for their messages and responding to their needs
Reconnect with your own strength and power and truth via meditative practice such as yoga, guided meditation, chanting, drumming, dance, or any other tool that feels right and helps you ground and connect
Engage in this community and/or other communities committed to re-establishing our right relationship with ourselves and the earth
Wherever you are, on your journey and in your life, may you be well, may you be at peace, and may you always find the next good step.