I've had a number of folks recently tell me they're worried about me because they think I'm "stuck" in trauma because I talk about it.
Here's the truth.
I talk about my trauma because that is part of how I heal it. Stories are medicine.
Much of the trauma I talk about is from the distant past. Some of it is healed and I talk about it from a place of having healed. Some of it is still raw, and I talk about it from the place of being in healing. Lots of it is in an in-between place, a spiraling journey from "still tender" to "old and beautifully healed scars," with lots of levels in between.
Sometimes old traumas I thought were healed get reopened and I learn that there is still more healing to do. So I do it.
I also talk about my trauma because it's real. I tell my friends here about the joys in my life, about the amazing friends and allies and experiences I get to enjoy. About my pride in and love for myself and my land and my family. I tell you how wonderful my life is.
And I want you to know that my life is also REAL. That it also comes with its share of sorrow, grief, pain, and work.
I want you to know that I experience ALL of it. I embrace all of it, even when I am also resisting some of it.
I want you to know that if you are suffering right now, that doesn't mean you always will be. It doesn't mean your life can't be bright and beautiful and happy and meaningful, too. It can be both/and.
I tell my stories because stories are how I save myself, and saving ourselves is how we save the world.
I'm not stuck in my trauma. I'm ENDING my trauma. I'm healing it. And I'm making it MEAN something.
So please don't worry about me when you see me posting about the hard times. By all means, help me, if you feel called. Send me notes and post comments and say prayers and petition your gods and do Reiki, if any of that feels like something you want to do. I am grateful for all of it. It means the world to me.
But don't fear for me. I am strong. I get stronger with every blow I weather. With every trauma I heal. With every story I tell.
And thank you. Thank you for caring. I am so grateful for all of you.
Fen Druadìn (they/them) is anamchara, storyteller, dragon, student of trees, and a breaker of generational curses.
Fen's mission here is to love and remember themself completely, connect deeply with the world, and help others do the same for themselves.
Fen connects deeply with the universe through their relationship with a sacred land in the Appalachians of North Carolina, and shares messages here and elsewhere. When not in the woods, they can be found on Facebook and Patreon.
If you feel led and are able, you can support Fen's work in any of these ways:
You can also contribute to the work of reconnecting with yourself and the world in any or all of these ways:
Stand in front of a mirror, look in your eyes, and say, "I love you." Repeat daily for as long as it takes
Send your love to the trees and stones and water and Earth
Spend time in quiet meditation with a plant or stone person, and listen for messages
Clean up litter in your neighborhood and/or engage in other acts of environmental restoration
Build a personal relationship with the plants and animals in your area by spending time with them and listening for their messages and responding to their needs
Reconnect with your own strength and power and truth via meditative practice such as yoga, guided meditation, chanting, drumming, dance, or any other tool that feels right and helps you ground and connect
Engage in this community and/or other communities committed to re-establishing our right relationship with ourselves and the earth
Wherever you are, on your journey and in your life, may you be well, may you be at peace, and may you always find the next good step.